saint-louise's Diaryland Diary

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Don't. Panic.

I was using the restroom at my place of employment just now (thanks for the mental image, Louise). In the middle of relieving myself, someone a few stalls over shifted ever so slightly. And I was suddenly, startlingly consumed with the thought that I was doing something horribly wrong. Had I been talking to myself, muttering profanity under my breath? What if I had belched out loud without realizing it? Holy shit, am I even peeing in the right place?! As though, somehow, I�d gone fugue and might possibly come to, finding myself taking a piss in the lunchroom next to the microwave.

But no. There I was, still in the bathroom, doing what I was doing where I was supposed to do it.

That. Right there. Has been my mental state lately. I�m not sure why I�m suddenly unable to cope with stress, and to handle several events occurring at once. I used to do that, and with a rather �Bugger all. Get the fuck out of my way� state of mind. Not so much anymore, I�m afraid. It�s a tad disconcerting, to say the least.

So, I�m sorry, gentle readers. I�ve been cajoled. I�ve been spoken to softly, and almost wistfully, regarding the days when I updated with relative, if not always reliable, frequency. I�ve even been threatened. Good god, people. I�m on probation over here.

The good news is: I�ve made a promise to myself about this diary thingy. Positive things are afoot. Stay tuned, if you would please. My love for you has not waned an iota.

Love, love me. Do.

4:11 p.m. - 2004-11-17

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