saint-louise's Diaryland Diary
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I'm in the zone. Just not conscious.
Just now I completely zoned out. Hard core. In the bathroom.
I�d like to be embarrassed of that fact but I just don�t have the energy.
First I stared at the roll of toilet paper. Then, for a change of pace, I looked fixedly at the spare roll of toilet paper sitting on the shelf. In the meantime, my brain was running through all of the ex-boyfriends I�ve had, trying to decide which one had the biggest hands.
Then I took an unnecessarily long amount of time buckling my belt, pondering the movie �Memento� and trying to decide if I thought anyone in it was attractive � and not only on a physical level. Maybe the gap-toothed woman who played Leonard�s wife has an aura of yumminess that I am not dialed in to. Like a sound of such high frequency that only dogs can hear it. Maybe only dogs think she�s attractive. Maybe.
Finally, I washed my hands and stood in front of the sink, adjusting each of my rings and speculating on how tiny my wrists are. What if skinny wrists are a symptom of a horrible, heretofor unknown disease? Will people still love me if I gain weight on my wrists, or is society more shallow than I previously thought?
So, yeah. Zoning out. It�s my favorite pastime.
During this zoning, a good time was had by all. Including the cleaning lady who was attempting to mop the restroom floor. She particularly enjoyed lifting up my feet one at a time to scrub under them. Then she sprayed me with air freshener and left, humming the theme song to �90210.�
Let me tell you, I�ve been Mountain Spring Fresh since then and it�s a real turn on for the guys.
Or so I�ve heard.
Along with being double-jointed and prone to wearing black thong underwear. And breasts that can vary in size according to whim. And perfect teeth. And an endless supply of beer. And lots of bisexual, single friends.
Hey, I�m just sayin�.
3:11 p.m. - 2002-06-13
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